Having the right mindset can help you enjoy your relationship even more
Romanticizers believe that love is something that happens to them and that the reason they’re single is they just haven’t met the right person yet. This belief determines their behavior when it comes to dating. Your mindset towards relationships matters. There are two types of mindsets: the soulmate mindset and the work-it-out mindset
The soulmate mindset is the belief that relationship satisfaction comes from finding the right person. On the other hand, the work-it-out mindset is the belief that you can achieve success in a relationship by making a deliberate effort.
The ability to shift your mindset from soulmate to work-it-out could mean the difference between ﬁnding a life partner or not. Romanticizers fall into the soulmate mindset category. People in this category reject promising partners because they don’t match their vision for what love should look and feel like. They think that love will just happen to them; they expect love to be effortless. If it’s not, they must be with the wrong person. People with a work-it-out mindset know that relationships take effort and that building a successful relationship is a process.
Maximizers obsess over making the right decision. They want to explore every possible option before they make a choice. Even when they decide, they continuously wonder what they’re missing out on. The current dating climate creates Maximizers out of many of us. No one ever seems good enough, and we wonder if we could be happier with someone else. Maximizing tendencies in relationships can lead to mental anguish, costly delays in decision-making, and missed opportunities.
Don’t let your desire for a perfect relationship be the enemy of a great relationship. ~ Logan Ury
Hesitaters delay dating because they don’t feel 100% ready yet and want to put their best foot forward. Hesitaters are afraid of rejection, failure, and not being good enough. By waiting to date, Hesitaters miss out on a chance to develop their dating skills and ﬁgure out what type of person they want to be with. You can learn to overcome your hesitation by:
• Setting deadlines for yourself
• Doing prep work for your new dating life
• Telling others about your plan
• Committing to your new identity as a “dater”
• Starting with small goals
• Being compassionate with yourself
• Stop talking to your ex
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