Sophia's Blog

Sophia's Blog

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work


The author, through decades of research and the experience gotten in that time, is able to finally answer the burning question — why do some marriages fail whilst others flourish?

He accomplished this not by any superhuman ability or supernatural intervention. It is, in fact, a product of science. He and his colleagues conducted experiments on different couples with varying initial conditions. In one experiment, 50 couples were made to stay overnight in a controlled mini apartment known as The Love Lab. During which they were monitored from behind a one-way mirror; heart rate, gestures, eye contact, amongst other intricate responses.

From this extensive research, the author is able to predict to a shocking 91%, the success or failure of a marriage.

He posits that a successful marriage is an emotionally intelligent one. One where the couple acknowledges negative emotions and thoughts but gives more energy and time to the positive ones. So instead of running from conflicts, arguments, you should engage in them but with the mindset that the goal is to find a mutually beneficial solution not tear each other down. A couple that takes out time to foster a healthy, friendly, playful, romantic, and supportive relationship will surely have a successful marriage.

The author, with data from his research, is able to pinpoint the signs that a divorce is imminent, these signs include:
• An argument that starts off with a harsh, offensive tone aiming to corner the other person.
• An unhealthy amount of Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt.
• An overwhelming stream of negativity at every turn.
• Negative Physio and Psychological responses to stress — body language.
• Repeated failed attempts to fix the growing damage.
• A host of bad memories that have been left to linger.
• A detached, calm, and distant overview of the relationship.

The author concludes this chapter by adding that one essential factor in a happy, successful marriage is how strong your friendship with your partner is. If you foster a friendship with your partner, you’re more likely to have more success in moments of conflict and even greater satisfaction in moments of intimacy.

Keep reading the following tidbits to learn the seven principles that will get your marriage from rock-bottom to soaring heights.

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