My (27M) wife (30F) doesn’t like to have Love unless we’ve had a romantic evening together. I’m okay with doing this sometimes, but it makes me feel like I have to EARN it, rather than her ever wanting to have it with me.
I understand there’s a difference in how men and women are turned on, and that women are much more aroused when there’s an emotional connection, but the fact that she ONLY wants to love if the whole day was dedicated to a date night feels weird.
It feels like she doesn’t want to have love with me, and it’s only when I’ve spent an entire day convincing her that she might consider it. It’s also frustrating because if we’re even slightly busy, the thought of love just goes out the window because there’s too much to do.
I know it’s a cliche for a man to complain about wanting more love with their wife, but I’m just frustrated because I feel unwanted. It’s hard to bring up with her though, because oftentimes she takes it as me objectifying her.
Not sure what to do. We have couples therapy soon, so that should help us out.
tl;dr: wife isn’t interested in love unless it’s after a big date night, which makes me feel like she’s only attracted to my actions and not me.